Resources created by Christine Sefein and Bonnie Snyder

Part 1: Deprogramming Ideologically-Captured Kids

As children of the Seventies, we can’t help feeling a sense of deja vu and noticing certain similarities to that decade when we observe the current cultural moment. Beyond the inflation, environmental alarmism, and soaring interest rates, we’re also seeing the reemergence of familiar social contagions, such as the popularization of mind-altering drug use; promises of unrestrained, boundary-breaking sexual pleasure disconnected from consequences; and widespread cult-like brainwashing among young people.

Perhaps there is something in human nature that makes us susceptible to the repetition of certain types of contagions every few decades? A startling difference, however, is that some of the recruitment to these rigid ideological movements now seems to be taking place in schools, which children are required to attend by law and where they comprise a captive audience, deserving of protection.

Here are some characteristics of cults [see a fuller list here, and you can find many other similar lists online] that are evident in the current climate:

• Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.
• Mind-numbing techniques (such as chanting, denunciation sessions) are used to suppress doubts.
• Leaders dictate how members should think, act, and feel.
• The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself.
• The group has a polarized us- versus-them mentality, which causes conflict with the wider society.
• The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.
• The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify means that members would have considered unethical before joining the group.
• The leadership induces guilt feelings in members in order to control them.
• Members’ subservience to the group causes them to cut ties with family and friends.
• The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment.*

Today, we see some obvious similarities to 70s-style cult practices, but there are differences, too. As Mark Twain observed, “History doesn’t repeat itself: but it often rhymes.”

*A unique feature of current cultish incarnations seems to be the absence of a charismatic living cult leader, but the distinct twist here seems to be that the charismatic “leader” can be each member’s own professed and exalted “identity,” which the group then celebrates and reinforces. In fact, publicly declaring this identity is a key part of demonstrating allegiance to the group mindset. This identity then becomes an automatic source of infallible authority–a badge of honor–and anyone who does not accept or respect this new authority automatically and without question is cut off.

More concerning signs include dishonoring the family unit; opposing critical thinking; and crossing Biblical boundaries of behavior. Another list emphasizes brainwashing; the use of thought reform methods; the breaking down of a person’s sense of identity and ability to think rationally; and claims of easy, all-encompassing explanations and solutions to all of life’s problems.

According to Steven Hassan, former cult member and author of multiple books on how to escape from controlling and destructive mental influence, one of the characteristics of cultish groups is their use of deception, which also happens to be a well-known, accepted marxist tactic of infiltration. He points out that, while cults are typically conceived of as religious, they can also be political (such as the former Soviet Union) or therapeutic, such as when a counselor uses influence to foster dependency rather than functioning independence in a client.

Other warning signs of cult activity include intoxicating love bombing; the demonization and distortion of past history and family ties coupled with the provision of an apparently all-accepting alternative family (while concealing incredible demands for obedience); promises of hedonistic pleasure (reminiscent of the Pleasure Island warning scenes in Pinocchio); and the creation of an In group and an Out group coupled with smearing of the out group and painting them black, rhetorically.

Whatever you want to call this cultural movement and its varied manifestations that seem to be prevalent in schools and colleges, it appears to be a very demanding belief system that requires strong adherence; demands for the performance of certain actions/genuflections; and special forms of address to indicate membership. Those who do not display appropriate acquiescence (literally meaning be quiet) risk expulsion and shunning.

Even adults are feeling the pressure to conform and bend the knee, as it were, to regnant ideology, but this cannot compare to the pressure experienced by a vulnerable, impressionable young person with a deep, natural, and appropriate desire to find a sense of acceptance and belonging, particularly as they enter young adulthood and leave the protective nest of the home.

Shellshocked parents are left grasping for answers, having trusted K-12 institutions to support–not undermine–their family unit and belief systems rather than replacing them with different or even oppositional ones. In too many cases, schools and activist individuals within them have breached that trust along with their implied or explicit in loco parentis responsibilities.

Let’s focus on what can be done now.

First off, stay calm: this is nothing that hasn’t been seen before and there are effective, proven strategies for dealing with it. As Ecclesiastes tells us, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; There is nothing new under the sun.”

We can turn to lessons gleaned and wisdom gained from previous encounters with similar problems in earlier eras for a solid mooring as we grope for answers to guide us forward in these challenging times and difficult circumstances.

Recommended resources:

Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs

Combating Cult Mind Control

Responding to Authoritarian Cults and Extreme Exploitations: A New Framework to Evaluate Undue Influence

Ending the Game, a “coercion resiliency” curriculum

The Language of Fanaticism: Cultish

Beyond Cult Deprogramming: The New Goal is to Empower Reality Testing

Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult

A Mother’s Intuition About Gentle Deprogramming Endnote: While there are clearly echoes of 70s-style cultural trends reemergent right now–including androgynousgenderbending–a curious difference today is that instead of the optimistic smiley-face “love” and unificationmessaging of thatera, today’s prominent cultural messaging is pessimistic and seems to fixate and dwell on unhappiness, the presumption of hate, and to seek to foster division, instead.

Part 2: Destructive Influence Warning Signs

We’re facing a rising number of young people who have been exposed to what appear to be concerted indoctrination methods in their schooling (and through deliberate cultural messaging), or what former cult member and cult expert Steve Hassan might refer to as “undue” or “destructive Influence.”

In a video presentation about cults and predators which Hassan delivered to the Asperger/Autism Network of New England, Hassan shares what he calls his “Influence Continuum” illustrating the difference between healthy and unhealthy influence.

On the healthy side of influence, we see a person capable of and receiving unconditional love; displaying signs of a conscience; exhibiting creativity and humor; and capable of using critical thinking and exercising their own free will.

A person under the influence of controlling people or destructive ideology will display unhealthy signs such as conditional love (you are only acceptable to me if…); their conscience can be bypassed by doctrine, allowing them to do shocking things they would not have considered before; humorlessness and solemnity, fear, and guilt; and their independence being replaced by mindless dependency, conformity, and obedience.

Another sign of undue influence may be resorting to the use of cliches, slogans, and canned responses to sincere questions. Students in the former Eastern bloc, for instance, learned by slogans, through mere memorization and recitation, bypassing critical thought.

Do you know anyone who displays these indicators?

Hassan groups the tactics of highly controlling groups, such as cults, into his BITE model, referencing their influence over Behavior, Information, Thoughts, and Emotions.

People who are more susceptible to undue or destructive influence include people with learning challenges, including autism spectrum disorders; vivid imaginations; unresolved past traumas; magical thinking or vivid imaginations; lonely people; and those who are easily hypnotized. Hassan points out that there are particular vulnerabilities of those on the autism spectrum, including their attraction to groups with clearly-defined social rules; their strong desire to be accepted by a group and appreciation of the “love bombing” approach; and the fact that their parents might be less skeptical than with a neurotypical youngster if they feel relief that the child has established social ties and new friends. He points out that ASD kids are prone to difficulties with social pragmatics and self-advocacy, and are thus more easily exploited by others for their own ends.

When a person is under the thrall of undue/destructive influence, Hassan sees a dual personality developing as a form of dissociation. This causes a split between the authentic self and the false, cult identity.

The person becomes “unrecognizable” and unreachable, as a new “consciousness” is formed. This is very shocking, sad, and disconcerting, indeed, but stay calm.

We need to warn you, however, that you are going to have to be very careful about following the next logical impulse, which might be to reach out to a mental health professional. On this score: Caveat Emptor. Many therapists now actively promote the same ideology and could simply reinforce and validate the political groupthink rather than freeing the client to think independently and to exercise his or her own free will. (See recommended resources below for help in identifying reliable therapy.)

There is also a fairly successful movement gaining ground promoting the keeping of secrets between children and non-parental/non-guardian adults, which has always been a bright red warning flag of unwholesome activity. Ask directly if your child’s school has a policy of withholding student information from parents and take appropriate action based on the response.

Beware of giving permission for school personnel such as counselors or social workers to have unfettered access to your children. Some have lost custody in this way. Opt out if you have concerns, if possible, until you are confident of their fidelity to established ethical practices. Ensure that they are trustworthy individuals rather than ideologically captured ones, as is unfortunately common now in the so-called “helping” professions. Also, unfortunately, beware of reaching out to many public cult awareness networks, some of whom are used as fronts to recruit people to join cults.

Recommended resources:

Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs

Combating Cult Mind Control

Responding to Authoritarian Cults and Extreme Exploitations: A New Framework to Evaluate Undue Influence

Ending the Game, a “coercion resiliency” curriculum

The Language of Fanaticism: Cultish

Beyond Cult Deprogramming: The New Goal is to Empower Reality Testing

Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult

A Mother’s Intuition About Gentle Deprogramming

Suggestions when seeking responsible and reliable mental health professionals:

Criticaltherapyantidote.org

Conservativetherapists.com

Faithfulcounseling.com

Part 3: Overcoming the Dangerous Allure of Victimhood Movements

A particularly pernicious feature of current cultish attractions for young people is the appeal and perceived (and actual) power that comes from claiming the exalted status now associated with being a victim.

Victimhood can be seductive as a means of making an individual feel, ironically, special. It can endow life with a sense of personal meaning. There are numerous reasons, however, why the adoption of a victimhood mindset or narrative is non-therapeutic at best, and dangerous at worst–even if it is temporarily effective at gaining sympathy, attention, and other attractive or instrumental benefits. 

While acute trauma is real and some people have experienced damaging treatment and persecution, victimhood thinking is unique and inhibits recovery from encounters with adversity. According to Rahav Gabay, Victimhood-thinking has four distinct characteristics:

1. Endless recognition of one’s pain and self-characterized victimhood
2. Moral righteousness, or elitism, with rigid definitions of personal values
3. Lack of empathy for or recognition of others’ pain
4. Constant rumination or obsessive thoughts about past victimization

Gabay continues to say, it is natural and appropriate for victims of trauma to seek acknowledgment and recognition for their pain, but victimhood thinking involves endless rumination over the past and dismisses one’s own agency in defining how they view themselves or previous events. Exaggerated perceptions or claims of a lack of personal safety can turn into demands for extreme accommodations by others, inhibiting relationships and the development of inner resources. When people stay stuck in a state of powerlessness, they begin to alienate themselves from others, harbor resentment toward those who do not validate their pain or accede to their requirements, and fail to recognize a path forward.

Victimhood also leads to moral elitism where the “victim” feels justified in rigid judgment of others because their victimhood status renders them free from responsibility for their own actions and excuses their poor behavior toward those whom they deem the “villain.” These snap judgments flatten and erase the complexity of identity and experience into a one-dimensional villain-victim narrative, which increases anxiety, and can ultimately lead to violence.

Victimhood thinking leads naturally to a lack of empathy for others. When stuck in this mindset, a person may become so self-absorbed as to feel entitled to behave selfishly and aggressively and to project those behaviors on unrelated adversaries that may have nothing to do with them personally or with what they’ve suffered. This grandiosity paves the way for narcissistic qualities to emerge and strengthen, especially when people seek out reinforcing groups of like-minded individuals. When these feelings of entitlement are combined with a high individual-level tendency for interpersonal victimhood, social change struggles are more likely to take an aggressive, disparaging, and condescending form.

A phenomenon called “competitive-victimhood” is an outgrowth of continuous rumination and misdirected rage or anger toward perceived predators or adversaries. People engaged in such a thought spiral may reinforce their beliefs by grievance mongering and injustice collecting, possibly even justifying interpersonal violence. Those cast as villains may become dehumanized in the mind of the self-perceived victim.

According to narcissism expert Sam Vaknin, some people adopt victimhood as an identity; they are proud of it and compete to showcase how much they have been victimized in a game of identity politics. Vaknin points out that such movements can be hijacked by psychopaths, and that perennial identification as a victim may lead to a sense of entitlement to special treatment and a tendency to become aggressive if this is withheld. The potential for aggression in victimhood movements is larger than in the general public; Vaknin points out that Nazism, Communism, and ISIS are chilling examples of what began as grievance-based victimhood movements.

Unproductive victimhood thinking fuels the ongoing crisis of mental health problems among youth and hypervigilance over perceived or imagined predator/perpetrator behavior. According to leading trauma expert, John Briere, some of the most effective ways to treat a victim of legitimate trauma are:

• Addressing harmful trauma-related beliefs, assumptions, and perceptions, such as expecting to be victimized again and feeling permanently damaged by a transient occurrence.
• Reframing harmful assumptions with reality-based facts.
• Developing a coherent narrative about the trauma.
• Increasing self-awareness and self-acceptance.
• Taking personal responsibility for one’s growth and healing, and
• Reclaiming personal power by rewriting the narrative.

Without adopting an unhealthy victimhood mindset, let’s acknowledge that today’s young people have been overly saturated with unhelpful victim-driven cultural messaging (with accompanying anxiety- and depression-producing side effects), and let’s start providing them with more empowering, freeing alternatives.

Controlling other people by demanding special privileges due to proclaimed victim status is a manipulative, triangulating substitute for authentic agency, and the reaction one gains from such behavior is unsatisfying, temporary, and illusory. It won’t last, and you’ll need a stronger fix in short order. True fulfillment requires assuming personal responsibility over the aspects of life under one’s control, including one’s own thoughts, feelings, and actions. This is the direction forward and the help our young people desperately need.

Recommended resources:

Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs

Combating Cult Mind Control

Responding to Authoritarian Cults and Extreme Exploitations: A New Framework to Evaluate Undue Influence

Ending the Game, a “coercion resiliency” curriculum

The Language of Fanaticism: Cultish

Beyond Cult Deprogramming: The New Goal is to Empower Reality Testing

Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult

A Mother’s Intuition About Gentle Deprogramming

Part 4: Targeted Interventions and Hope

“Nobody joins a cult. They just postpone the decision to leave.” (Unknown source)

When a person is under destructive influence, they may become “unrecognizable” and unreachable. This is because the cultish influence causes a dissociation that results in a second cult identity being formed.

This is very sad and disconcerting, obviously, but stay calm.

According to cult expert Steve Hassan, the rescue goal is to reconnect the individual with their authentic identity, while recognizing that there are reasons why the person was drawn to this belief system in the first place, and which might require addressing. Think of the young person as being in distress, and needing help to get out of trouble.

Hassan’s recommendations include:

• Keep the lines of communication open and don’t issue ultimatums or threats.
• Gather information on the belief system that is being adopted uncritically.
• Do not criticize the belief system itself; there is training to block this out.
• Show interest in the person’s cult identity.
• Look for the healthy, positive qualities in the cult identity–such as dedication and idealism–in order to reconnect.
• Do unrelated things together to reconnect with the person’s authentic identity.
• Find ways to remind the person of positive past memories and experiences.
• Facilitate positive exposure to non-members.
• Provide enhanced access to outside sources of information.
• Bring to consciousness negative experiences which the person undoubtedly will have had with the destructive group.
• Build a team of others who can see the problem clearly.
• Network with other families in the same situation. You may be able to gain helpful allies as their loved ones break free.

Hassan points out that so-called “deprogramming” can be carried too far, and can even veer into coercive or illegal activity. This is counterproductive and violates the individual’s rights and free will; two wrongs do not equal a right. Instead, he recommends emphasizing the capacity for reality-testing extreme ideas; we refer you to Steven’s work and website for more detailed information on how to implement these and other recommended strategies successfully and ethically.

Protecting Your Kids

Maybe you haven’t personally experienced any of this, but you’ve observed others who have and want to do everything you can to prevent your own child or family from becoming ensnared with any kind of destructive or controlling belief system.

• Teach critical thinking, assertiveness, and healthy boundaries.
• Teach about destructive/undue influence. One of the reasons people are drawn to cults is because there is widespread lack of awareness of how they operate.
• Learn the loaded language and coded jargon that concerning groups or belief systems use to shut down critical thinking. This can be tricky, since cults excel at spreading propaganda and misinformation.
• Get professional help early! [See important caveat in article 2, about selecting appropriate professionals. Make sure that it is the right kind of help and not counterproductive or exacerbating.]

This is the barest introduction to this incredibly difficult and highly emotional topic. You will need to read and understand more to prepare yourself to be effective in assisting an ideologically captured individual to loosen the grip of a destructive belief system; we only hope to provide you with some direction and a starting point.

As Hassan references in Combating Cult Mind Control:“Nobody joins a cult. They just postpone the decision to leave.” Let’s hasten their departure and be courageous enough to take the necessary steps to restore independence and freedom of mind through informed and compassionate outreach.

Recommended resources:

Freedom of Mind Resource Center

Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs

Combating Cult Mind Control

Responding to Authoritarian Cults and Extreme Exploitations: A New Framework to Evaluate Undue Influence

Ending the Game, a “coercion resiliency” curriculum

The Language of Fanaticism: Cultish

Beyond Cult Deprogramming: The New Goal is to Empower Reality Testing

Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender CultA Mother’s Intuition About Gentle Deprogramming

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By Bonnie Snyder, D.Ed., a trained school counselor and CEO of Terra Firma Teaching Alliance. She is the author of Undoctrinate: How Politicized Classrooms Harm Kids and Ruin Our Schools–And What We Can Do About It. 

By Christine Sefein, MA, LMFT, a training psychotherapist and Professor of Clinical Psychology specializing in grief, trauma and substance use disorders. She authored the chapter “Miseducation of Psychotherapists” in the book, Cynical Therapies: Perspectives on the Anti-therapeutic Nature of Critical Social Justice.

N.B. Neither of us is trained in deprogramming, but we are experienced counselors directing you to appropriate, helpful literature on this important topic.